Because from discovering their [my clients] Enneagram type we start to pay attention to their inner world through this lens. It allows us to track the conversations and feelings happening inside so we can actually tend to them and find our way back to stillness by moving THROUGH the tunnel, rather than avoiding it.

So many people out there have talents and creativity that we don’t always get to see. Even our loved ones, people in our social circle who we never knew harbour incredible gifts and purpose. I’m both regularly surprised by some of my friends hidden talents or businesses I didn’t know they were running, and at the same time I shouldn’t be surprised at all anymore, as a purpose coach who is privileged to have these kinds of passion-based conversations all the time.

The kind of jobs people would genuinely love, the thing that lights them up when they let themselves talk about it, very often doesn't pay them enough to live the life they need. Not the life they want. Need. And when someone is sitting in front of you weighing financial security for their family against personal congruence and meaning, they choose security. Nearly every time.

I don't blame them for a second. I would too. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling you something, and I'd check what.

Every human is their own healing vessel - we have everything we need inside of us already. We just need a safe place to land, and someone who’s walked the path (and continues to walk it every day - even though it means facing our flaws) for us to find our way to our own self-healing capacity. With all this observation going on for me lately, this poem came tumbling out of me.

There's a particular kind of clarity that arrives when two different maps of the human experience suddenly overlay perfectly. For me, that moment came gradually over five years of therapy, as my therapist skilfully wove together Internal Family Systems and the Enneagram in ways that slowly opened my eyes to what was actually happening inside me.

In therapy speak we call this concept “secondary gains”. It’s another way of saying “hidden agenda”. We think we’re stuck with what we’ve got, but actually, our psyche is fooling us into thinking we don’t have a choice, or that any available options aren’t viable. But the truth is… we get something from staying where we are.

Here's the thing about New Year's resolutions – we set ourselves up for failure by focusing on surface-level changes instead of addressing what's really holding us back and having the patience to take small steps that get sustainable results. We make grand plans about hitting the gym five times a week or finally learning Spanish, but we shy away from the bigger questions.

The Enneagram has gained immense popularity in recent years as a personality typing system, but its true depth goes far beyond nine personality types, and this embodies the coaching work I love doing and the personal journey I’m on.

There's something beautifully ironic about launching a podcast called How To Be...only to discover, episode by episode, that none of us really has it all figured out – and that's exactly the point…

Authenticity isn't about always speaking your mind or letting your emotions run wild. It's about being true to your core values and acting in a way that aligns with a deeper version of yourself.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that every aspect of my life is perfect since making that decision. Any coach who claims that is probably trying to sell you something. But what I can say is that building this career for myself, on my own terms, is one of my proudest achievements and one of the most rewarding things I've done. And helping my clients do this for themselves is something I really pride myself on.

These beliefs manifest as self-sabotaging thoughts preventing us from reaching our highest potential. Limiting beliefs act like mental roadblocks, stunting our personal and professional development. They are the inner voices that tell us we are not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough to achieve our dreams and aspirations.

The important thing to know about 8s is that beyond their hard exterior lies a vulnerable child who needed protection, understanding and unwavering loyalty. So if you want to get the best out of an 8, that’s what they need from you.

But when I ask about their dreams for themselves, few have clarity and many start describing side steps or little wins instead of big leaps forward - even when the question is about their DREAMS! It's like we can’t let ourselves think freely about what the dream would even look like. We can’t see our endless possibilities because we’re so bogged down by our current reality.

In my talks with countless individuals who feel drained and stuck in their jobs, I've noticed a recurring trio of reasons as to why they're apprehensive about seeking new horizons. However, if there's anything the world has taught us, especially post-COVID-19, it's that the traditional 9-to-5 job is evolving. And so should our perceptions.

In today's post, we're exploring a concept called the 'Adult' state from Transactional Analysis and its potential to unlock meaningful change.

While they can be all about the fun, 7s can also be very productive people who channel their enthusiasm into being busy at work, creating multiple options for their clients or the team to ensure satisfaction.