There's a particular kind of clarity that arrives when two different maps of the human experience suddenly overlay perfectly. For me, that moment came gradually over five years of therapy, as my therapist skilfully wove together Internal Family Systems and the Enneagram in ways that slowly opened my eyes to what was actually happening inside me.

In therapy speak we call this concept “secondary gains”. It’s another way of saying “hidden agenda”. We think we’re stuck with what we’ve got, but actually, our psyche is fooling us into thinking we don’t have a choice, or that any available options aren’t viable. But the truth is… we get something from staying where we are.

Here's the thing about New Year's resolutions – we set ourselves up for failure by focusing on surface-level changes instead of addressing what's really holding us back and having the patience to take small steps that get sustainable results. We make grand plans about hitting the gym five times a week or finally learning Spanish, but we shy away from the bigger questions.

The Enneagram has gained immense popularity in recent years as a personality typing system, but its true depth goes far beyond nine personality types, and this embodies the coaching work I love doing and the personal journey I’m on.

There's something beautifully ironic about launching a podcast called How To Be...only to discover, episode by episode, that none of us really has it all figured out – and that's exactly the point…

Authenticity isn't about always speaking your mind or letting your emotions run wild. It's about being true to your core values and acting in a way that aligns with a deeper version of yourself.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that every aspect of my life is perfect since making that decision. Any coach who claims that is probably trying to sell you something. But what I can say is that building this career for myself, on my own terms, is one of my proudest achievements and one of the most rewarding things I've done. And helping my clients do this for themselves is something I really pride myself on.

These beliefs manifest as self-sabotaging thoughts preventing us from reaching our highest potential. Limiting beliefs act like mental roadblocks, stunting our personal and professional development. They are the inner voices that tell us we are not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough to achieve our dreams and aspirations.

The important thing to know about 8s is that beyond their hard exterior lies a vulnerable child who needed protection, understanding and unwavering loyalty. So if you want to get the best out of an 8, that’s what they need from you.

But when I ask about their dreams for themselves, few have clarity and many start describing side steps or little wins instead of big leaps forward - even when the question is about their DREAMS! It's like we can’t let ourselves think freely about what the dream would even look like. We can’t see our endless possibilities because we’re so bogged down by our current reality.

In my talks with countless individuals who feel drained and stuck in their jobs, I've noticed a recurring trio of reasons as to why they're apprehensive about seeking new horizons. However, if there's anything the world has taught us, especially post-COVID-19, it's that the traditional 9-to-5 job is evolving. And so should our perceptions.

In today's post, we're exploring a concept called the 'Adult' state from Transactional Analysis and its potential to unlock meaningful change.

While they can be all about the fun, 7s can also be very productive people who channel their enthusiasm into being busy at work, creating multiple options for their clients or the team to ensure satisfaction.

I’ve realised I want my business coaching to be accessible to as many people as possible, which means offering a more affordable service.

It’s not that they don’t care deeply, 5s can be very nurturing given the chance, but their focus is often distracted by the other demands of life which feel BIG & the false belief that they won’t have the resources to deal with whatever arises.

All of my clients want the same thing. They want to feel a sense of freedom - liberated enough to take off their mask and be themselves, to stop towing the party line.

I'm often asked "How am I ever going to do this?". And I'm starting to see the patterns clearly enough that I could actually answer that question.